Florida woman’s bank robbery prank falls flat

A woman attempted to rob a Wells Fargo bank in Spring Hill, Florida, Wednesday, but turns out it was all a joke.

According to ABC affiliate WFTS, the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office said Vanessa Ortega entered the financial institution with a bright blue object that vaguely resembled a firearm, thrust it into the air, and bellowed, “This is a robbery; give me all your money!”

She then allegedly made her way to the teller window and declared, “Just kidding!” before casually withdrawing funds from her own account and leaving.

Since Ortega frequented that Wells Fargo location, staff quickly identified her to detectives who had the added advantage of “previous law enforcement contacts” with her. She was arrested at a separate location where police were called to for a disturbance. 

The Hernando Sheriff’s Office said Ortega told deputies she entered the bank with a “nerf style” gun and admitted to yelling, “This is a robbery, give me all your money.” Ortega allegedly told deputies she was just joking about the robbery.

Ortega was arrested and faces two counts of attempted robbery with a weapon and given a $20,000 bond.


Danish bridge brought to a standstill by spud spill

In a potato-induced fiasco, a truck driver was apprehended after spuds spilled across a vital Danish bridge, causing utter chaos and leaving authorities scratching their heads in bewilderment.

ABC News reports, the potato pandemonium occurred on the westbound side of the bridge, disrupting the flow between Danish islands. Moments later, the eastbound side suffered a similar fate, turning the roads into a slippery, starch-filled mess. As drivers navigated through this unexpected culinary obstacle course, lines of vehicles formed on either side of the bridge, creating a nightmarish traffic scenario.

Interestingly, these potato antics unfolded on the very day the Danish parliament passed a law imposing taxes on diesel trucks hauling hefty loads. This measure has sparked outrage among truckers, who fear the tax will jeopardize their livelihoods. In response, they have taken to peaceful highway blockades, rejecting any association with the potato-related mishaps.


Man’s cauliflower cheese outrage turns him into “King Kong,” court hears

An English man’s birthday took a tumultuous turn when he transformed into a raging beast, holding a knife to his partner’s face after being served cauliflower cheese. 

Timothy Robinson pleaded guilty to multiple charges, including assault and strangulation, resulting in a two-year, nine-month prison sentence, according to the Bristol Post

Judge Michael Longman emphasized the severity of the offenses, aggravated by alcohol and the context of domestic violence. A five-year restraining order was issued, forbidding Robinson from contacting the complainant. The court revealed a pattern of violence, including previous incidents of choking, headbutting, and screwdriver attacks.

Despite the traumatic ordeal, the complainant expressed relief and a newfound sense of freedom. Robinson’s defense acknowledged his alcohol problem and claimed his behavior was uncharacteristic. Detoxing during his custody, Robinson expressed remorse for his actions.


CBP officers uncover $38M meth stashed in kale

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers made a startling discovery when they seized $38 million worth of methamphetamine cleverly hidden within a shipment of kale.

During a routine inspection at the Otay Mesa Cargo Facility, they noticed irregularities and decided to investigate further. To their surprise, they found 268 packages concealed within the kale, containing a total of 5,788 pounds of methamphetamine, according to CBP’s press release.

The officers confirmed the nature of the substances through testing, and the estimated street value of the drugs was determined to be $38 million.

The driver, a 34-year-old man, was apprehended and handed over to the Department of Homeland Security for further inquiry into the alleged narcotic smuggling attempt.


Programmer tries “cloning” his girlfriend with ChatGPT, says “it needs some more work”

A tech developer who has been working on artificial intelligence platforms like ChatGPT has taken on a side project, developing a ChatGPT clone of his girlfriend. 

The gist of it is Enais Cailliau‘s GirlfriendGPT works like any other ChatGPT program: You feed it information — in this case, material his real girlfriend has sent him, her photos, her likes and dislikes and the like — and in turn, with some coding, it should mimic his girlfriend’s words such that it would be like talking to the real person via text. 

It can even send him selfies, which are also AI generated. 

On that point, Cailliau concedes “it needs more work,” seeing as one selfie it generated is supposed to show his girlfriend reading a book in a park. Well, it got the park setting right, as well as the book. But her face is distorted and she’s sitting atop an extra torso, instead of a park bench. Oh, and she has three and a half legs and only one foot.

Cailliau has been documenting his “experiment” both on social media and on the website GPTGirlfriend.online. There, you can browse a collection of in-development AI boy-and-girlfriends, along with free source code to bring them to life. He’s even offering $100 to the best suggestions for the personalities of future avatars.

Cailliau’s site notes, “Soon, the AI will have the capability to remember past interactions, improving conversational context and depth,” and the AI-generated significant others should be able to send “animated video responses.”

For now, let’s get the number of legs right. 


Maryland historic license plates lead to online gambling site

In a surprising twist of online mischief, hundreds of thousands of Maryland license plates have unwittingly become high-stakes gamblers!

According to ABC News 4, the Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration recently discovered that the website address printed on the state’s War of 1812 license plates now leads to a gambling site nestled in the tropical embrace of the Philippines. 

These historic license plates, designed by the War of 1812 Bicentennial Commission, were once a patriotic symbol, bearing the URL www.starspangled200.org. Originally, this web address belonged to Star-Spangled 200 Inc., a nonprofit associated with the commission, dedicated to funding bicentennial projects and events. But the digital winds have since shifted, and the URL now leads unsuspecting visitors to a far more thrilling experience on the virtual gambling tables.

An estimated 798,000 active Maryland license plates proudly display this now-redirecting URL, leaving officials scratching their heads and residents raising their eyebrows. Rest assured, the Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration wants nothing to do with this unexpected detour into online gambling. Their trusty IT department is hard at work, exploring options to bring these wayward license plates back to their patriotic roots.


Raccoon’s delightful doughnut exchange breaks the internet

Hold onto your doughnuts, folks, because TikTok has just introduced us to the most unexpectedly polite and doughnut-obsessed raccoon in America!

Samantha Jane Guptill, aka @samguptuppy on TikTok, shared a video of the four-legged animal slowly making its way up to the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru window where he’s given a vanilla-frosted donut and then scurries off to enjoy the treat in peace.

“#Raccoon at #Dunkin proves that EVERYONE RUNS ON DUNKIN,” Nuptial captioned the post, cleverly using the brand’s slogan. 

Since posting the clip, it has skyrocketed to viral stardom, racking up a jaw-dropping 21 million views and over 4 million likes.


Man attempts store heist with Duck Hunt controller

In a bizarre blast from the past, a South Carolina man took retro gaming to a whole new level by allegedly robbing a store with a gun-shaped controller from the iconic 1980s Nintendo game, Duck Hunt. 

David Joseph Dalesandro, a 25-year-old with an apparent affinity for unconventional heist accessories, found himself in hot water after an incident at a Kwik Stop convenience store. Sporting a mask, wig, hoodie, and wielding the spray-painted Nintendo game pistol, he marched into the store like a misguided video game villain.

According to the York County Sheriff’s Office, Dalesandro flaunted the fake gun to the clerk, demanding the contents of the cash register. He managed to make off with a cool $300 before making his escape.

The authorities swiftly located Dalesandro in a Dollar General parking lot down the street, his pants concealing the notorious Duck Hunt pistol. He was arrested and booked into the York County Detention Center.


Cheese chase champion wakes up confused but triumphant

In a riveting bank holiday event, a daring woman engaged in a high-stakes pursuit of a 7 pound cheese wheel, only to end up in an unexpected snooze session.

Delaney Irving, who hailed from Vancouver Island in Canada for the event, sprinted down Coopers Hill in Brockworth, near Gloucester, U.K. until she was unceremoniously knocked out cold. However, she still managed to clinch victory in the race.

Talking to the BBC afterwards, Irving said, “I remember running, then bumping my head, and then I woke up in the tent. I still don’t really believe it, but it feels great,” according to The Guardian


Man apprehended after stealing $2,100 worth of toothpaste

A hapless crook in Vancouver, British Columbia found himself in a brush with the law after attempting to snatch $2,100 worth of toothpaste.

Picture this: officers, minding their own business near the Superstore, witnessed a man sprinting out of the emergency exit, pursued by determined staff on Friday, according to a tweet from North Vancouver RCMP.

“Talk about being at the right place at the right time,” the post began. “Officers jumped into action, arrested him and returned $2100 worth of toothpaste.”

“We think he was trying to make a clean getaway but was unsuccessful,” they joked in a following tweet. 


Indian official suspended after draining reservoir to retrieve phone he dropped while taking a selfie

In a classic case of smartphone obsession gone wrong, an Indian government official found himself swimming in deep trouble after he drained a reservoir to rescue the smartphone he dropped while taking selfie.

As reported by AP News, Rajesh Vishwas’ precious Samsung smartphone took a leap into the depths of the Kherkatta dam in Chhattisgarh, India. Panicked, he called upon the local divers, hoping to retrieve his “sensitive” government data.

When their efforts failed, he decided to drain the entire reservoir. Over the course of three days, millions of liters of water were sacrificed, equivalent to irrigating vast stretches of parched land during India’s scorching summer. Vishwas told local media the water in the reservoir was unusable for irrigation and that he had received permission from a senior official to drain it. 

But the efforts proved pointless because the phone, once rescued, resembled a soggy brick, unable to be used as it was waterlogged.

Vishwas found himself suspended from his government post.


Intruder cleans, takes selfies, and eats cupcakes

In a bakery break-in that can only be described as quirky, a Vancouver business owner caught an unusual thief on camera.

The surveillance footage, shared on TikTok, revealed a man who lingered outside for 20 minutes before smashing the glass door and entering the bakery. But here’s the twist — the intruder grabbed a mop and tidied up the shattered glass before helping himself to six cupcakes. The bakery owner jokingly praised his manners, calling him a “respectful king.” The audacious intruder even took selfies wearing orange sunglasses using the store phone.

The next day, the owner introduced a new menu item inspired by the incident — the Crime of Passion cupcake, featuring a Pink Champagne flavor and an orange sunglasses cookie on top. Despite the bizarre turn of events, the bakery owner decided to make the best of it, captioning her TikTok story with a resilient message: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”


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